There HAS to be a happy medium for Valentine's Day.

Typically, I try not to write anything unless I think it is interesting. So I try not to talk too much about my pets, or what happens when I go shopping, or about my electric bill, or anything. I'll just preface what I have to say with that.

Anyway, Valentine's Day. It HAS to go. Or people need to find a happy medium.

On the one hand, you have "I'm declaring my love for whomever and I am gonna do it in the most nauseating way I possibly can to everyone who cares to listen or turn on their computer today." Or "my whomever sent me flowers at work and I love him/her/it so much." (Doesn't that sound like nyah nyah, no one sent YOU flowers?) You get the picture.

On the other hand you have "I dumped someone, so even though it's completely my fault that I DON'T have a Valentine I will blame it all on someone else and have an Anti-Valentine Day and wear all black and listen to Morrissey and invite people out for beers to talk about just how awful relationships are."

When I was in college and I didn't know any better, I took out an ad in the college newspaper telling my paramour that next to diamonds, he was a girl's best friend. You'd think no one had ever heard that line before, because the people at the North Texas Daily ate that up. If there were a Pulitzer Prize for Vday classifieds, that trophy or medal or whatever would have been MINE. Even if he hadn't turned out to be an ingrate, if I knew then what I know now, I probably would not have done that. Wanna know why? Because I look at that and I get dry heaves.

The following Vday, I was BITTER. I wanted to wear all black, and listen to Morrissey, and listen to the Cure, and hang razor blades from the ceiling, and write poetry about how love makes the heart black. This was back in the days of, well, Morrissey and the Cure, so it wasn't Emo, I think it was Goth. Or just plain weird. One of those.

Anyway, I need to wrap this up so I can copy/paste it into my blog. But Vday shouldn't be completely nauseating. It also should not be a funeral. If you have someone, that's great, tell that person what you think, not the whole cyberuniverse. If you dumped someone, and you're still alone, go ahead and have fun with your razor blades, but don't rain on my parade. I went to BJ's with a couple of girlfriends and resisted the urge to tell the canoodling couple at the table next to us to get a room. If I did have a boyfriend-unit type person, I would probably spend a lot of time hating Vday and how much pressure it puts on couples to do something spectacular and fabulous and romantic and memorable.

Either way, it's a shame to see what happened to the feast day of a guy who was martyred for performing Christian weddings. It's also a great opportunity to buy chocolate on sale.

So Happy Valentine's Day, folks. Some of you need to get a room, the others need to lay off listening to Morrissey for a while.